Well, its that time again. I had my follow up with Dr. S today for the last month's cycle review. But first, a recap of this cycle so far. This was another clomid cycle, same dose, just for a couple more days. Everything else was the same except for adding back a supplement and I was supposed to add in a fertility massage too, but forgot (and/or didn't believe the premise so didn't want to spend my money on it). Hey, I'm usually a pretty good patient (nowadays at least), so a one time lapse isn't so bad. I will try to remember to do it next cycle.
This cycle, emotionally at least, wasn't as bad as the last. I got a little emotional and had a few bad days, but nothing like the full week from last time. My cycle itself was weird though. The clomid seriously dried my cm up up, even with being on like ALL the mucus enhancers, so I had a record high of 5 green days this cycle. Seriously, never heard of. With that, my fertile window was down to two days. Not a great thing.
Before the appointment, I wasn't sure whether or not I ovulated, there were some symptoms indicating either scenario:
In the "maybe I ovulated?" category: I did have some sort of build up, rather than just peak type mucus on and off the whole cycle. I also had some cramping in the general what-I-assume-is-ovary area a couple days before peak day that let up completely on peak day itself.
In the "there's no way I ovulated" category: there was no L this cycle at all and my CM didn't dry up right away after peak, both of which are usual for me, but different than the one with the confirmed ovulation.
In the "I'm so confused" category: I didn't have breast tenderness right after peak (again, happened in ovulation cycle, and previous times before Creighton that I suspected I ovulated), but it did show up around p+6, so I had no clue what that meant, just a side effect from the progesterone maybe? I'm breaking out like crazy, possible sign of my testosterone getting even higher (most likely, and would point to no ovulation), or maybe something else going on with my hormones? Also, the clomid side effects, the dryness is new but could totally be blamed on the clomid, and the lack of side effects is more similar to my ovulation cycle than my last non-ovulatory cycle, but I still did have some, which means absolutely nothing really, but still confused me. Basically, anything I'm used to made me think I didn't ovulate, and anything out of the ordinary made me think something is going on with my hormones, so maybe I did ovulate. Yes, I way over-analyze everything.
Also getting to me was the liturgical timing of my cycle (Ah, things only an infertile Catholic would say). I'm trying not to be superstitious, I really am, but I couldn't help look at the timing of my cycle and the feast days the fell during it and wonder if it was a sign of something, or if the extra prayers could help at least. Our St. Joseph's Novena and St. Joseph's day fell pre-peak. It looked like ahead of time that my peak day would fall between the annunciation and palm sunday, and it ended up being the day after the annunciation. And then P+10 fell on Easter. P+10 is the earliest day my next cycle could start, as my post peak last cycle was only 9 days (the latest it could be based on my wonky cycles is next Sunday), and the earliest I could possibly get a positive pregnancy test (so of course I took a pregnancy test on Easter which of course was negative, ugh). And of course, almost the whole cycle took place during lent but it's ending in the Easter season, so... who knows.
On to the doctor's appointment, finally. First of all, my hormone levels were good, better than ever actually (except for testosterone, the number wasn't in yet). But we still had to do the ultrasound to confirm. First we checked my right side and after what was probably a few seconds but seemed like eternity, Dr. S announced that she saw a corpus luteum. Last time I ovulated it was out of my right side too, so I joked that it's just my left side that doesn't like working. She said "well, we'll see." And then proceeded to check out the left side. I was waiting to hear that there wasn't anything there, or maybe some cysts, instead she found a corpus luteum there too! So in case all this gibberish doesn't mean anything to you, my doctor confirmed ovulation, and from both ovaries. What! As for the new plan, since apparently the Clomid is working with my body now, we're gonna go ahead with it for another cycle, and just add another mucus enhancer for the drying out issue. And that was it, appointment done.
You guys, in my heart I was so sure that this medicine, this cycle wasn't going to work, I had already counted us out. I even wanted the Hubs to come along on the appointment so he could be there as we discussed our remaining options. To his credit, he usually tries to be there anyways, but it does get difficult to take a half day off of work and drive the hour and a half drive there and back, though he wouldn't complaint. Although he did come along for this appointment, the poor guy waited in the waiting room during the ultrasound, and since we did most of the talking during or right after it, he didn't even get to participate in the appointment.
It's still blowing my mind that instead of being out, we're actually in our first two week wait ever. For the first confirmed ovulation, our timing was really bad, so I didn't even consider pregnancy possible. But this time (and for pretty much the first time) our timing was really good. And there were two eggs available! Ahhh! We freaked out in the car a little bit at the what ifs, and what would we dos. We've been trying for over three and a half years, and this is the first time there was a confirmed chance. Crazy!
That being said, I'm really trying not to get my hopes too far up. Like I said, I already got a negative pregnancy test yesterday, and with the wonkiness of my cycles, my period can't even really be considered late until next Monday. I have started cramping too, and getting some stretchy cm, which is usually a sign of impending period, so I just keep trying to remind myself of that. In the meantime, I'm just going to be sitting over here, celebrating my crazy double ovulation and trying not to symptom spot, don't mind me.
*ETA* I wrote an update post here, but in case you don't want to click over, we're onto the next cycle now.