December 21, 2015

Cycle Reviews 12, 13, and 14



Well, with my absence from here, I didn't update with the last few cycle reviews.  Since they've been pretty much the same,  I might as well lump them all into one

All of the cycles were more of the same routine- taking letrezole (femera) in the same amount with post peak progesterone shots.  Over the months I have gotten worse about taking my supplements, other than the essentials. Which actually kind of turned into a good thing,  I noticed my CM is way better when I don't take the supplements supposed to help it, go figure.  And while I started being really awesome on my paleo diet, I kind of fell off the bandwagon in the last month or so. 

The results of the cycles were pretty much the same, ovulation confirmed, lining good, and hormone levels ok.  Though this last cycle my levels weren't awesome like they had been the previous two months.  I'm convinced that's due to my failure at paleo, considering everything else was the same.  At least that's good motivation to get back on it.  My side effects has been pretty minimal.  The nausea that had been plaguing me post peak is gone for the most part. I still have pre-peak headaches and some emotionalness, but not nearly as bad as it had been. My pmsing is only bad for a day or two, and the cramping is mostly nonexistent, so yay for that.

Despite everything working and hormones being good, I'm still not pregnant.  My doctor doesn't have many explanations, other than possible egg quality or implantation problems.  And apparently neither of those are things that can be tested for, so it's pretty much  just a guessing game at this point.  To try to target any possible egg quality issue, I'm going to start taking small hcg injections pre-peak next cycle. The treatments for implantation problems are pricey, so we're not trying those yet.

I feel like we're in unexplained infertility territory now, though my doctor hasn't said anything about that.  Although I have a bunch of diagnoses, we're treating them all, and the treatments appear to be effective.  Yet we're still not getting pregnant.  There has to be some other issue or explanation, but I don't know what it is, and I don't know if there's any way to find out.  I hate the uncertainty, but there's not really anything I can do about it.  So very frustrating.  Oh well, I guess we'll see how the hcg goes next month. 

December 19, 2015

Avoidance

I have a confession to make.  I have totally been avoiding you.  Well not you really, just this blog. Sorry about that. Really, I've been trying to avoid infertility in general.  I don't think it was a conscious effort at first.  I really did get incredibly busy with work and didn't have as much free time on my hands as before.  But at some point I realized I was trying to keep myself as busy as possible to avoid thinking about infertility as much as possible.

The last couple years have been so difficult, such an emotional roller coaster with starting  treatment, then having surgery, then more treatment. It was overwhelming, all encompassing.   But then I got the new job (not so new anymore, being over 6 months in), and I didn't want to let anyone know about my IF issues, unlike my last job where I was an open book.  I thought it would be just too awkward to explain to a new employer and coworkers that I was trying to get pregnant, but don't worry about it because it probably won't happen.  Then we found a treatment that more or less "worked" (as in, got me ovulating and hormones leveled, not pregnant), and so I became a little less anxious about what our next step would be. And then the infertility ministry we tried to start in the last year more or less failed.  And most people stopped asking about treatment and how it was going after getting the same answer so many times.  So infertility was no longer encompassing every part of my life.  I was able to stick it in a small compartment and avoid it for the most part.  And so I did.

Except I can't avoid it all the time.  It still hurts every month that I get a negative test and start a new cycle.  Perhaps even more so now that everything is "working" and has been for months, yet still no pregnancy. And I still have doctors appointments and blood tests every month, and medicines and supplements to take every day.  And every big holiday or milestone that passes still feels like a punch in the gut, to pass once again with no child on the way or in our arms.   On those days like today (the first day of another cycle and the 5 year anniversary of our engagement) I realize I can't stick it all in a compartment, and I could still use the outlet and community that this blog provides.

It just so happens that this time it fell on a day that I actually had some spare time.  So... that resulted in my first post in months.  That's where I've been and what's been going on for the most part.  I'm hoping to start stopping by here more often... but we'll see.

September 25, 2015

7QT Vol. 11: While I Was Out & Other Random Thoughts



So... remember that time I didn't blog for, oh, over a month for no reason? Yeah, sorry about that. I thought I'd give a little explanation for my absence from this little corner of the interwebs and catch you up on what I've been up to.


 -1-
Why I Haven't Been Here

I really have missed blogging.  Its just that I only have a couple of hours of free time when I get home from work to bed time, and most days I like to spend that time relaxing or hanging out with the hubs.  It only took a few times of me yelling at him to stop talking while I was trying to blog for me to realize that mayyybe I had my priorities backwards.  Free time is still pretty hard to come by, but we'll see if I can work this into my schedule more often.

-2-
Fourth Anniversary

The day after my last post in August was our fourth anniversary.  I really meant to write a post about it but, well, see above.  We made a week of it really.  We went out of town the weekend before and went wandering around in the mountains, which was a pretty good time.  Then we had a nice dinner on our actual anniversary.  I have to say ,this last year was a pretty crazy one on our marriage.  Lots of downs, like financial issues, medical treatment and surgery, but lots of positives too, like making it through the rough patches.  I definitely feel like we're stronger for it all.  Despite how cheesy and cliche it sounds, I do feel like I love the Hubs more each day, and I am so blessed to have him.

-3-
Hub's Promotion

Speaking of the Hubs, and my excuses for not writing, the Hubs got a promotion in the last month.  He has worked very hard for it, and I'm very proud of him! Of course it means longer work hours for the Hubs too now, and less time together, so take that as another excuse for why I haven't blogged recently.

-4-
Paleo Diet

I don't know if you caught the brief mention in my last post, but after my doctor recommended that I cut out gluten and dairy I decided to dive right in and give the paleo diet another try.  The Hubs got dragged along too, under some protest.  The first month, we went the easy route and got food delivery.  That ended a couple weeks ago though, and we've been on our own... a little scary, and I haven't been perfect.  I will say, when I'm actually complying with the rules I feel so good!  Oddly enough, the hubs has actually felt worse.  We're pretty sure he's highly evolved and requires food that is processed and includes chemicals to survive. My cooking skills also have much room for improvement, thought I will say, I made this chicken tikka masala recipe yesterday, and it was pretty awesome!

-5-
Other Miscellany

There's nothing else I have enough to say to write a whole blurb about, so I'll just ramble about some other random things I've been up to. Hmm, there was a random day trip to go apple picking (so fun!), a last minute 24 hour trip to as Vegas with my sister, a boat ride for my sister's birthday, the death of all of my tomato plants :( (apparently they require water), trying Indian food for the first time (so good), and arguing (and winning) a super important motion (with less than a day to prepare for it). So... lots going on!

-6-
Disneyland

My birthday isn't for a few weeks, but we're already making plans to go to Disneyland for it!  I'm so excited!  I had passes growing up, but stopped renewing when I went to college in a different state. I visited a couple times when I was home from college, but haven't been back since then, its so pricey.  I finally have convinced the hubs and rationalized to myself that it'll be worth it for my birthday!  It should be a good time!

-7-
The Pope!

I am so excited that the pope is in town (or the country) right now! I may be on the opposite side of the country, and not able to get to the east coast, but I'm still keeping up with everything going on over there as much as I can.  I'm loving his speeches and homilies, and pictures and videos are fun too!

I'm pretty sure this video is my favorite so far.  Though the pope in his fiat is pretty great too!
---

That's all I have for you now!  What have you been up to lately?

As always, for more great posts, check out Kelly's at This Ain't The Lyceum.

September 23, 2015

Cycle Review 11



Hi! So after an unintended, unofficial break I'm back! Sorry about that, things have been busy, as per the new usual, and I just don't have the energy to write when I get home after a long day of reading and writing. Anyways, I thought I should at least update my latest cycle review, considering I"m already a week into the next cycle review.  So here we go!

So I started off the cycle taking letrezole (femera) for the first time since surgery, after clomid had stopped working again.  I also started the paleo diet, again, after my doctor suggested I try going dairy and gluten free.  The cycle turned out pretty normal. I had some weird bleeding and the same old pre ovulation headaches (I'm really getting tired of those).  CM quality was slightly better than on usual clomid cycles, yay!  Then somebody decided to take a last minute girls trip right around ovulation.  very smart idea, I know. So yea, we knew our chances weren't so great this cycle.

Post peak wasn't actually too bad, especially compared to the last few cycles.  The nausea actually was barely existent, save for a few minor waves of it. The PMS wasn't bad either.  I was actually surprised when my period showed up because I wasn't being super hormonal and crazy.  Once my period started... well I did get a little hormonal.  The cramps weren't bad at all though, so yay!

At my appointment, my doctor confirmed via ultrasound that I ovulated, yay! My lining looked good and my hormone levels were good too.  So not a bad cycle. The plan for next cycle is letrezole again.  If we don't get a positive test next cycle my doctor wants to move on to injectibles or a middle step.  That's a little stressful considering I'm not sure my work schedule will give me the time that the monitoring for injectibles requires.  But I'm just going to worry about that when it happen.  So I guess we'll see.

August 12, 2015

I Just Want It To Be Over



Like I mentioned in my last post, there's part of me that was relieved to find out I wasn't ovulating.  Why? Well, lets wind back a few days.

Saturday night the Hubs and I sat at a fancy dinner for our preemptive anniversary celebration. I was trying hard not to bring the infertility/medical treatment topic up, because I usually ruin special events by bringing our issues up and then getting all emotional about them.  I can't help it, it's just what I do.  So of course, despite my best intentions, I finally brought it up (though I think it was at least after our appetizer).

We started to talk about what to do going forward. I hadn't been feeling good for a while, what with side effects from meds and supplements and all, and wasn't sure if I could take another cycle on that particular mix. (This was before my latest cycle review that, well, simplified the options.) The Hubs suggested that we take a break the next cycle.  This isn't the first time he's made that suggestion, its been something we've talked about quite a bit over the last few months as the side effects have gotten more and more difficult to deal with.  The idea of it is nice, and I do think it would be good for me, I just haven't been able to bring myself to do it.  I'm a very stubborn person.

But this time, before I had really even though of my response, I blurted out "I don't want to take a break, I just want it to be over with." I hadn't really even thought about it that much, but I guess that is a big part of why I didn't want to take a break.  Taking a break isn't really just stopping it all.  It just means maintaining for a while then jumping back into it all full swing again.  The thought of that is about as exhausting as keeping up with the status quo.

All I've wanted from the begging of this journey, other than you know, a child, has been to know when and how it'll end.  Such a simple wish right?  I know there wouldn't likely be any answering of that, but hey, I could hope.  I'm the kind of person that hates suspense in the first place, for anything.  Apply it to my own life, and it gets 100 x worse.

If the suspense wasn't bothering me enough, there's also the toll infertility has taken on my life.  To say it has thrown thing for a loop would be a giant understatement.  It's more like it turned my life on spin cycle.  It's a never ending merry go round of tests, diagnoses, procedures, more tests, side effects, and emotions.  It's impacted every area of my life, and changed who I am, in both good and bad ways. That's all a really long way of saying that its exhausting.  Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually exhausting.  With no end in sight.

I think that's why I've kept plugging along without rest, I just keep hoping to get to the end, one way or another. Whether that's a baby in our arms, or knowing for once and for all that it just isn't going to happen.  Choosing to keep going gives me some false sense of control, like I actually have a say in what happens (hah), and that taking one step will get us closer to the end.

I think that's why the news on Monday was somewhat of a relief.  Even though it means one more thing didn't work... it also means one more step closer to the end of this journey. As hard as it is to face that the end might not be us being parents... it's comforting to think that some day my life might not revolve around medical treatment again.

August 10, 2015

Cycle Reviews 9 & 10


Hi! Yes, I'm still alive, just haven't had much time on my hands, still pretty busy over here.  I thought I'd stop by and update on the latest cycle review though.  I don't know if you noticed, but last month there wasn't a cycle review.  That actually wasn't my fault, my doctor had the audacity (lol) to take a vacation.  So now you you get two cycle reviews in one, lucky you!

It actually works out pretty well, because the last two cycles were pretty similar.  Same old same old with the clomid and progesterone shots and tons of supplements in between. The side effects of, well, some of the many possible things really kicked up though.  I had nonstop headaches pre-peak (think going to sleep and waking up with headaches for at least a week, ugh) then post peak nausea that made me plan my walking routes but what trash cans I could stop by if necessary (luckily was never necessary). So... that was fun.. if you call barely functioning fun.

I noticed that pre-peak my mucus quality was pretty poor, even though I was on ALL the mucus enhancers, and post-peak I lost all my dry days I had been gaining. Then I got some results from my first round of blood tests and ultrasounds and I couldn't quite interpret them, but I knew they weren't improvements.

So I didn't have a great feeling when my doctor led with  "Let's talk about your ultrasounds. Well...your lining looked good."  Unfortunately, my estradiol level hinted and my ultrasounds confirmed that I didn't ovulate either of the last two months.  Apparently, even after the surgery my body has decided to become clomid resistant, because it's awesome like that. My progesterone levels were ok, but basically just showed that the shots are doing their job.

So, on the plus side, no more clomid.  I was really starting to hate that stuff. On the downside, we're on to the last option we're certain we'll try.  Next month we'll give letrezole (femera) a shot. If that doesn't work, we might move on to injectibles, but the cost still looks prohibitive, so we've decided we'll cross that bridge if/when we get there.

I'm handling it, well, ok.  On the one hand, its pretty upsetting to know that only 6 months after surgery my ovaries stopped working again.  Shouldn't they come with like at least a one year warranty or something?  And to know we only got one month to try where I ovulated and my hormone levels were good and that didn't work out is pretty sad too.  I had started to take the whole ovulating thing for granted, and now I don't know if we'll be able to get my body to ovulate again.  It's crazy how quickly things change.

On the other hand, I'm a little bit relieved.  It's not just because of the no more clomid thing either. Part of me really wants to see this journey come to an end, one way or another.  But that's a complicated bundle of emotions I'll unravel in another post (yes, I am trying to bribe myself to write another post).

In other news, my cramps have also gotten pretty bad the first day or two of my cycle. Like shooting from my lower back down to my knees bad. When I mentioned it to my doctor she said that, since she didn't find any endometriosis, it's probably from inflammation.  So she suggested I try going gluten free to see if it helps.  Yikes, that calls for a major diet overhaul (which lately has consisted mostly of fast food). But I think I might just give it a shot.  I'll be posting about it in the future if I do.

So, I guess I'll see you on the flip side, when we find out if the letrezole worked or if my ovaries have permanently gone on strike.

July 26, 2015

Answer Me This (Vol. 7)


Welcome back for this week's installment of Answer Me This! This is the last one for this summer (I know, I'm sad about it too) but I hope you enjoyed it!

1. What's your favorite grocery store splurge?

Um, well, I don't really do the grocery shopping around here anymore.  A certain Hubs had a heart attack every time I came back from costco, car overstuffed with things I "needed" like 50 lbs of potatoes (that's like the smallest size they have). So the Hubs took over on the grocery shopping.  He's much more reasonable about it.  We did go to costco together a few weeks ago though and managed to get some fun items, including a fire extinguisher.  Safety first!

2. How's your penmanship?

Awful.  Really awful. Half the time I can't even read what I wrote.  Not only is it sloppy, but I go back and forth between printing and cursive, which makes it look like multiple people are writing.  On top of that, I make up abbreviations as I go, and I usually don't remember what they mean when I get back to them.  So. Count yourself lucky that this blog is typed and not hand written :).

3. Do you have a "Summer Bucket List?"

I think the only item on my summer bucket list is survive.  The work transition still has my schedule and routine up in the air, I hope it comes back down soon.  We are hoping to get away for at least on weekend soon, for our anniversary!

4. What's the best thing on the radio right now?

Hmm, that's a tough one.  By the time I find a song I like, it usually gets overplayed on the radio and I get over it.

This on is my current favorite, though its definitely on the getting overplayed route.  It's just so fun though!



Also I can't help, I love Ed Sheeran's music. Photograph is my current favorite song, but I pretty much just love whatever his latest song is, lol.

5. Ice cream or frozen yogurt?

FROZEN YOGURT!!!!! I love it so so much. I used to be a big Golden Spoon fan (more traditional yogurt place) but now I'm a convert to Yogurtland (self serve place with fun flavors and toppings).



 Lucky for me we have both of them in a shopping center within walking distance from our condo.  Score! I go to Yogurtland so much I've even go a platinum loyalty card, that gets me a few free ounces (like $1 off) every so often, woo hoo, haha.

Well, that's it for this week, and this link up, for now.  You can find other great posts over at Catholic All Year.

July 22, 2015

Why I Use NFP: For a Healthier Me



I think I've shared most of these details in other posts, but in honor of NFP Awareness Week, I thought I'd put the details together. So here's the story of how I came to use NFP.

First, in case you're wondering, NFP stands for Natural Family Planning, which is a way of determining a woman's fertility by keeping track of certain bio-markers.  There are various types, which use several different bio-markers and you can learn about them here.  I currently use the Creighton Model, which coordinates with NaPro Technology to assist in the treatment of health issues.  Ok, with that bit of knowledge, let's move along.

Also, my health background that factors in to this story. Pretty much when they started my cycles were irregular.  I bugged my mom to take me to doctors about it, but it took years before they took me seriously. Once they finally did, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), a hormonal disorder that causes all sorts of issues.  My doctors constantly pressured me to take birth control to treat it.  I refused every time, first because my mom was against it, but eventually on my own, as I learned about its dangers and health risks.  Even later I learned that it can make PCOS worse, and is contraindicated due to a genetic defect I have causing a high risk of clots, that no doctor who recommended birth control ever thought to test for.  Ok, on to the story (finally).

Growing up, I had heard a little bit about NFP.  In college, since I went to a small Catholic college, I learned more about it as friends started learning it before marriage. So you'd think I'd be somewhat knowledgeable at that point, but I didn't really retain much other than a passing awareness of it.

Like I've discussed in more detail here, my Husband and I met in law school and were engaged by my second year of it.  While we were preparing for marriage, my ob/gyn at the time told me that NFP wouldn't work for me because of the irregular cycles caused by PCOS. We also knew PCOS might cause it to be difficult for us to have children.  So we decided to start marriage just seeing when God would send us a child.

After about 6 month of marriage, I still wasn't pregnant, and I started to worry.  I heard about a secular book on NFP, Taking Charge of Your Fertility, using the sympto-thermal method (basically taking your temperature and watching some other bodily signals of fertility) that claimed it could help with conceiving.  So I started charting my temperatures to try to identify when I was fertile, but my charts were a mess and didn't make sense.  I knew something was wrong. However, the doctors I was seeing would dismiss my concerns, say everything was normal, or suggest I take birth control,because according to them there was no other treatment for PCOS and they thought I was too young or whatnot to be having children.

After about two years of marriage we finally decided to seek medical help and went to see a NaPro Technology doctor. Our first visit with her was awesome! She knew so much more about PCOS and treatments for it than any other doctor I had seen, which meant more than I could learn on google. She sent us to learn the Creighton Method of NFP to help out treatment.

So we started to train in the Creighton Method, and from the very beginning I was amazed at how much information my charts showed.  It helped us create a medical plan tailored to my specific issues.  I watched as things I had been told for years were normal were uncovered as problems and treated.  Even though my cycles have been and continue to be confusing (though they have gotten better over time) my instructor is there with me every step of the way to help me figure it out.  So not only can NFP work with my irregular cycles

Creighton also has given us tools to communicate about and strengthen our marriage. While it was difficult at first, it has been invaluable as we deal with the trials of infertility.

We continue to chart with Creighton and treat with NaPro, and I am still learning.  Even though we don't have children yet, I know so much more about my self.  I also feel, and have actual proof that I have become much healthier. My only regret is that I did not learn about NFP (and Creighton in particular) earlier.

It is so empowering to have so much information about your own body, to be able to gauge your health and advocate for yourself.  I still get upset about all the misinformation I was fed along the way, by many doctors, including very prestigious ones.  I believe NFP can be valuable to every woman.  Women deserve better than a one size fits all medical treatment and misinformation.

July 19, 2015

Answer Me This (Vol. 6)


Welcome to this week's installation of Answer Me This! I hope you enjoy it!

1. What's currently on your To Do list?

Hah, what isn't on my to do list would be easier to say.  On the top of the list is go check out the poor neglected garden that I haven't watered in two weeks.  Luckily its been raining this weekend (so freakish for our area) so the sky has been doing the watering part for me.  When I peeked outside, almost everything seemed to be hanging on, except for the lilacs, stupid lilacs. I'm adding replace lilacs with something else (maybe hydrangeas?) to the to do list.  Then there's all the household chores, random home fixing projects (like getting a light fixture back on the ceiling), getting the treadmill working, try to promote the ministry, and you know... work stuff too.  Most likely it'll just be work stuff that gets done.  I'm sorry garden :(.

2. Better type of superhero: magic/radioactive powers? Or trauma/gadgets/hard work?

Hmm, I'll probably go with the latter.  Or at least combining the two, the magic/radioactive power thing can be fun, but I think its good character development to have the superhero have to work at it too.  For being a superhero movie/ tv show fan (we watch ALL of the superhero movies and shows) you'd think I'd be more impassioned about this debate... but I'm not really.  As long as its fun and there aren't too many gaping plot holes I'm fine.

We saw Ant Man on Friday and it mostly met those qualifications.  It was definitely fun, and funny.  There were some awesome visuals (the whole point of seeing them in theater) and some touching scenes.  There were some plot holes that are still really bugging me, though all the marvel movies have them. I'll definitely watch it again once it comes out on dvd, or more likely download, we usually just buy on google play now.

4. Have you ever appeared on a stadium jumbotron?

I don't know? Maybe/probably? My parents had season tickets to the (then Anaheim) Angels while we were growing up, so I went to a lot of baseball games.  I loved it. Best game ever was when the Angels won the world series, so awesome.  I feel like at some game we were on the jumbotron, though I don't really remember for sure.

5. Are you more book smart or more street smart?

Haha, this one isn't even a little bit hard.  All book smarts, no street smarts (unless they can be learned from a book).  Anyone who knows me learns that pretty quickly, and I'm always being made fun of in my family for lacking common sense.  Luckily I married someone with somewhat more street smarts than my own, so we get by (most of the time, lol).

(Yes, I did skip 3 and 6, they're pretty inapplicable over here)

Just an extra note for any regular readers out there.  I am really trying to get back to posting somewhat regularly (or at least once a week in addition to answer me this posts).  This week is NFP Awareness Week, so I definitely hope to get a post up on that, and maybe one more, since I'm feeling ambitious right now.  It all depends on how soon after I get home that I fall asleep though.  So.. you'll know I'm just too tired if I don't get anything else up this week.

That's all I've got for you this week.  Head over to Catholic All Year for more!

July 14, 2015

9 Things a PMSing Infertile Woman Shouldn't Do



Otherwise known as things I did last week.  It was some good times I tell you.  So I thought I'd share in case anyone would like to learn from my mistakes.

1. Work a nearly 60 hour work week.

Yes, there are things to be done at work, and yes, when your first start a job you probably want to impress your boss.  However, when PMSing, taking it a little bit easy on yourself helps deal with what's to come.  Being beyond stressed out and past your energy reserves is not.  Pro-tip: Go home on time and take a nap instead.

2. Volunteer to Help Plan a Baby Shower

Ok, this happened before last week, but I had to include it.  I don't care where you are in your cycle, as an infertile woman, getting involved with baby showers is dangerous business.  I'm not saying you should never consider going to a baby shower (though that's totally ok if its what you need to do). I'm just saying maybe you shouldn't dive in and volunteer to help with every single baby shower that comes your way, like a certain masochistic author of this blog does. It will not help things, and I don't think it's healthy to be trying to figure out how to plan a baby shower with as little mention of the baby as possible...

3. Take Multiple Pregnancy Tests

One might be necessary, especially if you're taking meds that would need to be continued in case of a pregnancy.  However, I suggest taking said test as late as possible, and then accepting the negative and letting it be.  What is not helpful is taking the first test jussst early enough that mayyybe there's room to doubt, wracking your brain about it all week, then taking another one and being shocked and crushed at the still negative result.  Not that I repeat that cycle every month or anything...

4. Go Shopping for Presents and Decorations for a Baby Shower

Just stop while you're ahead, get a gift card or something.  And no, shopping online won't be better.  It will be worse because there will be pictures of all the babies you don't have, leaving you sobbing to your husband about not wanting to go to the baby shower but having to because you volunteered to help in the first place (see how the vicious cycle works?).

5. Attend a Double Baby Shower

Once you're already hitting an emotional wall, you probably shouldn't keep pushing yourself just to see how far you can take it.  I mean, a regular old baby shower is enough, let alone one with double the bumps and what not.   Ok, that's my last entry about baby showers, I promise.

6. Listen to All the Sad Songs on the Radio

You're already emotionally unstable, why would you make it worse with moody music? And by moody music I mean anything that's not obnoxiously peppy.  Anything less than that will be translated to saddest. thing. ever. by brain on hormones.

7. Forget to Take Your Happy Pills

If you some sort of supplement/ prescription that keeps the hormones at bay/ keeps you even keeled, you should probably be extra sure to take it during this volatile time of the month.  You probably shouldn't skip them just because you want that extra glass of wine.  It might not be worth the repercussions the next day.

8. Leave the House Without Pain Meds

While we're talking about important pills to remember, these are definitely at the top of the list.  If you can make it without pain pills, more power to you.  But if the cramping is already starting, even if its not *that* bad yet, don't leave the house for 6 hours without pain meds. That is exactly when you will get the worst cramping you've ever had, with absolutely nothing you can do about it.

9. Decide to Clean the House After an Exhausting Weekend

Let's see, if you've had a long week, and an even longer weekend, with the last few hours of it you should probably get some rest.  What you probably should not do is complain to your husband about the house being dirty, which makes him start cleaning, which makes you feel like you have to clean, and then keep cleaning until past your bed time.  You may end up throwing a tantrum and start crying while throwing all your clothes off a shelf because its a mess.  (Your husband might respond that it is, in fact, now a mess).

So yes, a fun week and even more fun weekend. When I start doing things wrong I just really don't know how to stop. There are a few things I'd like to think I did do right though:

1. Drink Wine

Ok, maybe that extra glass of wine was worth it, wine is always worth it...

2. Meet Up With Supportive Friends

It will definitely be worthwhile, and might even make you feel better.

3. Have a Patient Husband

This one, probably the smartest thing I've ever done.  Lucky for me, the Hubs seems to think its cute when I'm being ridiculous and hormonal (I'm pretty sure it's anything but that).  And will help me pick up and hang all the clothes that somehow found its way to the floor.  He's a keeper I tell ya.

I'd love to hear any other don'ts or shining moments that you have to share!

July 12, 2015

Answer Me This (Vol. 5)


Welcome to this week's installation of Answer Me This! I hope you enjoy it!

1. At what temperature do you keep the thermostat set? Summer, winter, day, night?

Well, a certain Hubs likes it cold around here, so we usually keep the thermostat around 72ish.  I know, that's cold.  We do have a Nest, so we try to use it to minimize our a/c usage when we're not around, or asleep.  I think it helps?

2. What is your favorite frozen beverage?

Ooo, alcoholic or non-alcoholic? For non-alcoholic, I definitely appreciate a shake from time to time. I'll take and in-n-out shake or a Wendy's frosty, yum! Alcoholic... I've been on a mango mojito kick lately. A margarita is always good too though :).

3. Where do you keep your keys?

On a dish next to the door. The dish was given to me by my mom, and also happens to say "call your mother" on it, lol. The Hubs refuses to use my key dish and throws all of his stuff in a bowl on the counter. Yes, there has been some contention over this issue, haha.

4. Have you ever really been lost?

Only all the time? I have the absolute worst sense of direction. Even with GPS I can (and often do) get myself lost, and I have to have the GPS guide me multiple times before I know how to get somewhere myself. Even then I'll still probably use GPS guidance, just because I like to know exactly when I'll get somewhere and be warned about any traffic, I do not like surprises on the road.

5. What is the last movie you saw in the theaters?

Jurassic World. It took a while before we got around to seeing it because I wanted to watch Jurassic Park first. My parents didn't show it to us when we were young, they probably thought we'd get scared, which is probably true. I thought the visuals of Jurassic World were awesome, and the movie was fun, though there were some plot holes. And I'm still disappointed that Chris Pratt's role wasn't funnier. I mean, I just feel like I like him more in comedic roles, but that's just my opinion.

That's all I've got for you this week.  Head over to Catholic All Year for more!

July 5, 2015

Answer Me This (Vol. 4) and a Blogiversary

Here's this week's installation of answer me this! enjoy!



1. How did you celebrate the 4th of July? (Or, for you international types . . . Do anything fun this weekend?)

By celebrating my independence with sleep.  Lots and lots of sleep.  Apparently I've been a little worn out out lately... but I think I've remedied that with like 12 hours of sleep (naps included) a day, on this nice extended weekend.  For the actual 4th of July, we hung out at my parent's house and ate some food barbecued by my siblings.  I love me some good barbecued food!  Then we headed over to my parent's condo by the beach.
not a bad view

We played some board games and watched the fireworks. We were super lucky and found out the show was taking place right across the street from us!  That was the closest I've ever seen a firework show, it was awesome!

That's the Hub's head over to the left

2. Do you sunburn easily?

Oh my goodness yes.  A couple hours in the sun and I will be fried. One of the worst sunburns I've ever had was on our honeymoon.  We were walking around midday for a few hours, and I was in a strapless dress.  When we finally got back inside, my shoulders were tomato red and oh so painful.  My new husband got to show his love for me by periodically rubbing aloe vera on my back, lol.

3. Hot dogs. Yay or nay?

Yes! Definitely yes! With ketchup and only ketchup though.  Especially Costco hot dogs.  We may have gone out of our way to get some of those on Friday.  $1.50 for a hot dog that is like a foot long and a drink is a pretty good deal to me!

4. Have you ever personally set off fireworks?

Nope.  That'd probably just be asking for trouble, I'm so accident prone.  The closest I've gotten is sparklers, which I tried for the first time the summer after my junior year of college, believe it or not.

5. Have you ever jumped off the high dive?

Nope! That sounds terrifying to me!  And another accident waiting to happen, lol.

6. Do you do anything weird in your sleep?

Haha. I'm a huge tosser and turner. I don't bother to tuck the sheets in on my side of the bed because they're bound to come out that night. If I'm stressed out I might grind my teeth. The Hubs HATES that

Check out some other Answer Me This Posts at Catholic All Year! But wait, don't head over there quite yet!

Today is also this blog's first anniversary!



Well sort of.  Yes, I do have a few posts in the archives that older more than a year old.  This blog originally started as a baking blog back in 2012.  I only got a few posts up though, and later deleted them.  Then it turned into a weight loss blog (yes, the first thing did lead to the second), and those are the older posts in the archives.  I didn't post often or regularly with that though, only like a couple times a year. Finally, a year ago today, I started blogging about our infertility journey, along with some posts about faith, marriage, and whatever else I feel like talking about.  Surprisingly, I've actually stuck with it! For a whole year now! So I'm calling his my blogiversary!

I've really loved being able to use this blog as a place to get my thoughts and feelings out about infertility.  This year has been a tough one, what with starting treatment, having surgery, and the ups and downs of it all.  Having a place to talk about it has really been a bug help to me.  Even more so, I love the community I've found here, of bloggers from similar and completely different backgrounds.  I love the support and kindness people keep bringing to my little corner of the internet. It's kind of crazy to be that this blog has also led to me doing things in real life, like going to a Catholic Women Bloggers conference, or starting our infertility ministry.  

So thank you for reading and celebrating with me! Hopefully I'll stick around, and you will too!

June 29, 2015

Infertility Is Just A...




Legitimate Medical Issue. Ok, for some of you, that'a a no-brainer.  And I really hope it is for most of you. I talked about this a little bit during Infertility Awareness Week, but I thought I'd go into a little more detail.

Lately, for a number of reasons, we've been more open about our infertility journey. A lot of the time we've been met with love and support.  Other times, however, I've been met with some comments that make me work reallly hard on holding my tongue and being charitable.  Like when I was told that maybe what I need to do is stop all treatment and get a teddy bear.  Or to get a puppy. Or to "just" adopt, or "just" relax.

This most recently happened this morning, when my phlebotomist imparted some of the above "wisdom" on me. Now, ordinarily I would probably say something, but I have a policy about not making people who are stabbing me in the arm upset at me. So, instead of saying something, I just stewed and decided I would just get it out here instead.

The truth is, I am tired of being told, whether directly or indirectly, on purpose or not, that infertility is my fault.  Yes, there are things I can do to try to make it better, but in the end, I did not cause this or do something to deserve this.  Yet that's what people are saying to me when they say just relax, just stop thinking about it, just do this, that, or the other thing.  They are saying that, in their eyes, I'm doing something wrong, and if I "just" did one right thing, everything would be fine.  And much of the time, what I'm being told that I'm doing wrong is seeking medical treatment, for my legitimate medical condition!  Really!  When I hear "you're trying too hard", "stop focusing on it" or "just let go and let God", I hear that I am being told to not worry about or treat my medical issue! One that not only effects my fertility, but my overall health.

Stop and think for a minute.  Would any other medical condition ever be treated like that?  You have cancer? Oh, you should stop chemo, you're trying too hard, you should just take a nap.  Have diabetes? Oh, don't worry about insulin, just go have a drink and forget about your issues.  Have pneumonia?  Forget about antibiotics, just go take a vacation! Can you imagine anyone saying any of those things, and then giving themselves a pat on the back for being helpful? I can't.  Yet people do that ALL. THE. TIME with infertility.

I'm really tired of my medical issues being down played.  On top of that, I'm tired of people telling me to laugh off those comments as "well-meaning." I'm tired of telling myself that these are just society's misconceptions that I have to accept.

I have plenty enough to deal with on a daily basis, like regular life events that make me want to cry or keeping a happy face on when I'm dealing with pills, shots, side effects, symptoms, and soreness.  I don't want to be expending more energy that I don't have on making other people feel better.

So, what should happen instead?  Well, I covered some of it here before, so I won't reiterate those. However, beyond those basics, my biggest wish is that people stop treating infertility like just a minor inconvenience, or making people feel like they're at fault. I don't mean that I want to be met with pity or sadness.  But it would be nice to, you know, be asked how I'm doing, have the difficulty acknowledged, or have a shoulder to lean on.

And of course, It would be great to have people think before they speak, to have people consider what the words they are using are saying.  Are they actually comforting and helpful?  Even better would be people informing those around them, correcting the misconceptions and common platitudes before they reach another person, in a kind manner of course.  If we can start there, maybe we can start chipping away at the shame and fault that those experiencing infertility shouldn't, but do, feel.

What do you think? What would you like to see people do?

June 28, 2015

Answer Me This (Vol.3)



1. How long have you lived in your current home?
Just about a year and a half now. We bought it in October 2013, rented it back to the owner for a month, took another month to renovate, and moved in right before Christmas 2013. No, moving during the holidays while my office was moving at the same time and I was preparing for a trial wasn't stressful at all...  we only have a few boxes still lying around waiting to be unpacked...


2. How do you find out about news and current events?
Um, yahoo news when I visit my old (mostly spam now) email address, the local news, social media, and my Dad (he's got the news or the weather channel on at all times).

3. Would you be able to make change for a twenty right now? For a dollar?
Nope.  I never carry cash and don't really keep track of what change I do have.

4. What's the craziest food you've ever eaten?
I can't really think of anything super crazy, I'll admit I'm pretty picky when it comes to food.  I do eat crazy amounts of frozen yogurt, I cannot get enough of that stuff!

5. Which of the commonly removed parts have you had removed? (tonsils, wisdom teeth, appendix, etc.)
Just tonsils  I really should get my wisdom teeth out, they're wrecking havoc on the res of my teeth, but I jut don't want to part with the money for a mostly cosmetic issue.

6. What's your favorite sport to watch on TV? 
None. I don't really enjoy watching sports on TV at all. I'm not really a sports person in general (I hope we can still be friends).  I only watch the super bowl out of obligation/wanting to know what everyone is talking about. I'll watch baseball live, but I don't really enjoy it on TV, it's more about the experience.

That's all I've got for you today! I'm hoping this will be the week I actually get another post up, but I make no promises.  Head on over to Catholic All Year for more!

June 21, 2015

Answer Me This (Vol. 2)


Joining in for another week of Answer Me This, Father's Day Edition!

1. What's the best thing about your dad?
Um, I'm not sure how to pick one thing.  That he's an all around awesome and genuine person?

2. If you've got kids, what's the best thing about THEIR dad? (If you don't, feel free to substitute your grandfather or another father figure.)
No kids (though the Hubs is really great at taking care of, playing with, and cleaning up after the dogs, I do know dogs are not kids), and I don't remember much about my grandfathers, both of them passed away before I was 8 (though I have on good authority that I was my maternal grandfather's favorite grandchild). I have been lucky to have a number of priests as grandfather figures in my life.  My parents have always been lucky to have elderly priests who need a place to go find them,  They've all been really wonderful to grow up with and learn from, I'm so glad God has blessed us with them!

3. What's the best advice your dad ever gave you?
My dad is a man of few words, but has always led by example.  He has always been early to rise (I'm talking 3AM early), early to sleep, is the hardest worker I know, and puts his family first.  He's incredibly generous, though he never says a word about anything he does, and is the last to complain about anything. All things I try to emulate (with varying measures of success) myself.

4. What's something you have in common with your dad? 
As far as my family goes, I tend to be on the quieter side like him.  I also like to think I've gotten some of his dry sense of humor. I'd really like to think I have some of his logic and wisdom, but that may be stretching it.

5. What's the manliest thing you know how to do?
I do love to grill!  I can also fix some toilet issues and know my way around a power drill, haha.

6. Who is your favorite fictional dad?
I'm totally blanking on this right now. I will say my least favorite is Ted Mosby from How I met Your Mother (all due to the finale, no, I'm still not over that).

That's all I've got for you today! Head on over to Catholic All Year for more!

June 14, 2015

Answer Me This (Vol. 1)


I thought it might be fun to join in on Kendra's Answer Me This  over the summer, both to let you know more about me, and to get to know more about some fellow bloggers! So here we go!

1. Any big plans for the summer?

We'd probably usually take a couple weekend trips, at least one for the Hubs's birthday (this week!) and our anniversary (in August) and maybe something in between.  With the new job though, I don't have any paid time off for the next few months, so chances are pretty slim that we'll be doing anything big. I think most of our efforts are going to be focused on getting the infertility ministry off the ground.

2. What is the strangest thing you believed as a child?
I can't really think of anything beyond the ordinary at this point.  I really loved Santa.  I remember one year asking for a reindeer so I could use it as a flashlight to read books a night, lol.

3. What is your favorite amusement park ride? (can be a specific one at a specific park or just a type of ride)
Thunder Mountain at Disneyland!  I really miss that place! Too bad it costs so much now, I just can't justify $100/person for it :(.

4. What's on your summer reading list?
I've got a few that I've been meaning to read since Christmas, the biography of St. Gerard, St. Faustina's diary, and I recently won Five Years in Heave in a giveaway from Catholic Drinkie, I'm looking forward to reading that one too!

5. Have you ever fallen asleep in public?
If falling asleep on long tour bus rides or flights counts I have.  Hahaha oh and once I feel asleep and started snoring in a class.  It was finals in law school and I hadn't slept for two nights trying to study and prepare for a mock trial.  After my trial was over I still had to watch the others... and that's when I fell asleep.  I woke up with everyone staring at me.  So embarrassing!

6. What is your favorite smell?
Hmm, apple pie I think? Though anything baking or sweet will do.  Ooh, and gardenias, I love gardenias!

That's all I've got for you today! Head on over to Catholic All Year for more!

June 11, 2015

Cycle Review 8 + My Half-Surgiversary


Yep, I finally decided to write this up! It's been, oh, almost two weeks since my doctors appointment, but who's counting, right?  So, cycle recap for you: same old same old with the clomid 50 mgs for 5 days.  Only thing changed was swapping the progesterone pills for progesterone shots.  I noticed a few days of clomid moodiness, but not too bad (other than the day the moodiness coincided with an interview, ugh).  What with the job transitioning there was A LOT going on this cycle, and I really thought that might mess with ovulation, but my peak day actually came a day or two earlier than usual. That was unexpected, but helpful, because it meant I would actually be able to go to a doctor appointment before starting the new job.

 I talked about the first progesterone shot here, and the rest of them weren't that bad, there was only one that made me yelp, lol.  My butt cheeks were sore for a few days after each shot though, lol.  I did feel amazingly better post peak. My nausea and breast tenderness stayed away for the majority of my post peak, up until a few days before the end of my cycle. Yep, spoiler alert, no pregnancy resulted from the last cycle, not much of a surprise. I did have an annoyingly long post peak, probably due to my body getting used to the progesterone, but it was driving me crazy.

So, according to the doctor, lining was good, hormones were better than ever, and I ovulated from both ovaries again.  It was probably my best cycle since starting medical treatment.  The only negative was my cm was not awesome this time around again, though that may have been due in part to one of my supplements not shipping in time.  We also got results of a repeat test on the Hubs.  He did one a year ago and had made some changes since then so we were hoping for some improvement.  Unfortunately, things were pretty much the same, which isn't dismal but isn't great either. Now the Hubs gets to take more supplements and make some lifestyle changes of his own, muahahaha (what, is that mean of me to be happy I'm not the only one having to do things?).

So for the next cycle, well the current cycle now I guess, we're keeping with everything the same (except for the Hubs's changes).  I literally made the decision that I would go with the plan this morning.  I seriously considered taking a break this cycle, and really probably should have.  I was supposed to give my doctor a call about it and talk about the pros and cons, but didn't get a chance.  On top of that, although there were tons of factors telling me to take a break, in the end I couldn't get past the idea that things were just starting to even out and I didn't want to mess with that balance.  Since I didn't get a chance to talk to my doctor about whether a cycle off would mess things up, I didn't want to take that chance.  So I guess we'll see what happens

In other news, yesterday marked 6 months since my surgery.  I've been thinking about it a lot, and not quite sure where my feelings land on it.  It's true that things have gotten much better with my body post surgery.  Before surgery we couldn't get me to ovulate for anything, and now I've been ovulating every month! My hormones are getting better every cycle too.  That's awesome! On the other hand, I'm not one of those super success stories either.

I keep hearing stories about people who get the ovarian wedge resection then have natural perfect cycles thereafter and get pregnant without any help in a matter of weeks or months.  That's obviously not me.  I still need clomid to help me ovulate and progesterone because my body's not producing what it needs to on it's own.  And I don't know if it makes any sense, but I feel like the surgery started another count of 6 months of fertility focused intercourse that didn't work out, so its like I'm labeled as infertile all over again.  I don't know if it's been contributing to the funk or the funk contributing to the negative feelings, but either way it's not so great. I know I need to pull myself out of it and look on the bright side, hopefully I do that soon.

Here's hoping things are looking up with the next cycle review!

June 7, 2015

So Little Time, So Much To Say


So I was a little MIA on the blog this last week. Actually, pretty much everywhere other than my desk at work. I did try to get to twitter a little, considering I could write a quick update on there, but that effort mostly failed too. It's not that I don't want to be here, I have at least three posts I want to write, I'm just so short on time.

The new job is great so far. I really like the new field, and my office in particular, though I'm still getting to know everyone. It does require longer hours than I'm used to working, and a little bit of a longer commute, as well as waking up earlier, so it's really been cutting into my free time. After I get home I've only got a few hours before bed time, and I do like spending some of that time paying attention to the Hubs, lol. He's been a lifesaver, by the way. He has been so supportive, and has been picking up the slack around the house, and then some. And when I mentioned I didn't love the office coffee (I'm a little picky) he bought some new beans for home, got me a thermos, and makes me coffee before I head out for the day. Such a sweetheart, that guy.

Oh, and the difficulty of the first week was compounded by the fact that both the Hubs and I were sick. He came down with a cold around Thursday the week before last and I had it by Saturday :(. That's the first time I've gotten sick in a long time, and I'm always such a baby when I'm sick. It ruined all my plans to prepare for the week, since I couldn't even leave the bed, let alone the house, so no shopping or cleaning got done. Oh well.

Oh, and I also realized mid week that our next infertility ministry meeting was in 2 weeks and I hadn't gotten started on preparing and spreading the word like I had planned. I spent my lunches making phone calls and my evenings posting on Facebook and reaching out via emails, so tiring. It looks like we have a few other parishes in the area that are going to run our bulletin announcement though! Now I have to get our speech prepared for our announcing at church next weekend!

I know I still owe you guys a cycle review (and a weigh day) but hopefully I'm the only one keeping track. I made my appointment earlier than usual so I could actually go, considering I couldn't really just take my first day of work off, so some of my lab results weren't in yet. I'm still deciding whether I'll wait for the specifics of those before I get my post up.  One of these days I'll get back to a weight watchers meeting so I can get a weigh day post up again too.

On top of it all, I've been in a little bit of a funk the last few days. I know it's probably just because I'm pmsing, but its still not fun. I'm just a bit hurting and sad right now. As much as I love the new job and advancing my career, it's weird to take a step that pretty much assumes we won't be getting pregnant any time soon. On its own that's hard, which is multiplied by my being surrounded by fertile people. I'm happy for them, its just hard. I don't want to avoid my friends, but the reminders of what I might never have are hard to handle right now. I'd love to know how other people handle friendships with fertile people, because I just don't know how to do it right now.

So, on that happy note, that's the summary of what I've been up to when I haven't been here. Hopefully I can get another post up in less than a week this time :).

May 29, 2015

7 QT: A Little Recap of the Last Couple Weeks


Hi! I haven't joined in on 7 Quick takes for a while, so I thought I'd jump in this week!  There has been a lot going on, so I thought I'd just give you an overview of that!

-1-

A couple weeks ago, after over five months on the job hunt, I got two offers of employment! That felt awesome! They were both great companies, and it was a tough call.  I ended up going with the firm that's closer to the field I want to be in.  I'm so excited to start next Monday! Thank you for listening to me whine along the way, and for any prayers you sent up for me.  I am not patient, so that was a tough wait.

-2-

Of course, getting a new job means giving my notice at my current job. I did that on last week, and I thought it went decently well.  I was trying to keep things amicable, as much as I just wanted to do this:



Things were awkward since I gave my notice though.  I guess that's to be expected, but I really hate awkward situations, so two weeks of it was not particularly fun.  I'm glad it's all over now though! My last day on the job was yesterday! So I get a nice three day weekend to rest up before the new one starts!

-3-

On a different note, we had our first meeting for our Catholic Infertility Ministry on last week!  It's off to a small start, we only had five people, but they are really great people!  I learned so much from them in just one night!  I'm so excited that people actually showed up and we actually got started!   This next month I'll be kicking up the spreading the word effort (even more), which is a little daunting, but I guess I just have to do it! On that note, I've created a blog button for the ministry's website:


Clicking it will take you to the Catholic Infertility Ministry website, where we've got some resources, and are always working on making it better and adding more (and are always willing to take suggestions). I am not super tech savvy and haven't figured out how to share the html code for the button yet, but feel free to take it and make it link back to www.catholicinfertilityministry.com If you'd like!

-4-

On a random note, its actually been raining in my drought ridden state a little bit over the last few weeks.  Probably not even close to as much as we need, but it helps.  My garden is loving it too!  I have some lilac bushes that just refuse to be happy, and I can't figure out if it's from over or under watering.  But when it rains, whether its because they're getting more water or because I don't water when it rains, they perk right up.  Maybe they just prefer their water from the sky, but whatever it is, I'll take it over them dying.  My peaches are coming in nicely too.  I just hope this year I can beat the rats to them. Last year I think I only got a few, the rest were gnawed on right before it was time to pick them :(.

-5-

Ooh, there's something else going on in my garden right now too. I can't believe I haven't mentioned here what I'm growing yet.  I made a (tiny) vegetable patch out of a planter area that was looking messy, and I'm growing... TOMATOES (and a little bit of basil)! That's right, little mascots for this blog.  No, I couldn't help myself, I had to do it.  So far, they're pretty happy and growing fast! I even see our first few tomatoes coming in! I love it!  Here's the latest picture I have of them:



This was a week or two ago, they've gotten bigger since then! I really need to get them some cages but keep forgetting.  Hopefully soon I make my way to home depot.

-6-

Last weekend we went to nearby city to see the Hubs's favorite band in concert!  It was a last second idea and kind of ended up being an early birthday present to the Hubs after we realized how much it would cost to go out of town on a holiday weekend.  It took about three hours for us to make the usually one hour trip, but we expected it and were prepared.  The concert was awesome and totally worth it!  We got to see Matt Nathanson, who was very talented, and hilarious, though his squirmy dance moves bothered the Hubs a little, lol

Then we saw the Fray!



Ah, I love them so much.  Really, I think they were better live than recorded, I love when that happens.  Oh, and I managed to get, oh, this close to the lead singer.

not the best picture, but you get the idea

Yea, that was awesome.

Last was Train.  Always so good, an they put on a great show.



The only negative is that they saved the Hubs's favorite song (Drops of Jupiter) for the end.  We knew they would do this from the last time we saw them (for his birthday a few years ago. Yes, I am awful at coming up with original ideas), but this time we wanted to beat the traffic, so we left before it played :(.  I did play the song for him a few times in the car ride back to the hotel :).

On the way back home the next day we picked up wine! Yay! We were a couple shipments behind on our wine club (we're cheap and don't want to pay for shipment) so we got four bottles! Surprisingly, we've only had one so far, lol.

-7-

I don't have a bunch of plans for this weekend.  I've actually turned down some invites, just so I'll be rested up to start the new job.  Today I have a doctor appointment (yep, that means another cycle review headed your way) and a facial scheduled (from a gift card the Hubs gave me years ago).  I know, it's a rough life.  All I need to do for the rest of the weekend is go shopping for some new professional duds, maybe get my car cleaned, and clean the house.  I have a feeling I'm going to be pretty busy starting, so I want to get a head start on the disaster the house is going to turn into, lol.

That's all I have for you now!  What have you been up to lately?

As always, for more great posts, check out Kelly's at This Ain't The Lyceum.

May 25, 2015

What A Pain In The...

Well... you get the idea.


As I mentioned before, we're only making one change this cycle, switching from oral progesterone to progesterone shots.  I have a little bit of a fear of needles, though I assume like my fear of blood draws, it'll diminish as I do them more regularly.  I was also a little apprehensive that I would take the shot at the wrong time.  Last cycle was weird, and I think I might have misidentified peak, so I was worried that would happen again.  Luckily, this cycle my peak was pretty clear, so I'm not very worried about the timing.

So... the day for my first shot was yesterday.  Fun stuff.  The Hubs took his role as shot giver pretty seriously.  He read and reread the instructions my doctor gave us, googled around for information, and watched a few videos on how to give shots.  I did a little bit of research too on how to prepare and what to do after to minimize the chance of pain, soreness, and knots.  The most common bits of advice I saw were to preheat the shot area (the butt), and after to heat it, massage it, and walk around a bit.  I had looked into this plenty of time before, so I got a heating pad with plenty of time to spare.

When the time for the shot came I got my butt nice and toasty. DH worked on prepping the shot and the shot area, lol, to which I tried not to pay much attention.  I will say, his drawing on my poor butt cheek to make sure he got the shot in the right place (which just felt like a scratch) hurt more than the actual shot did.  I didn't even notice when the Hubs actually did the shot, I asked him if he had done it yet and found out he had started like a minute ago! So I guess I didn't have much reason to be scared of the shot itself.  I did make sure I heated, walked around, and got several butt massages after, haha. The Hubs has been a pretty good sport with the last one :).

Today, the area is most definitely sore. not unbearably, just noticeable when I put weight on the area (though being my butt and all, that happens a lot).  There doesn't appear to be a welt or knot there though, I am glad about that.  It has gotten better over the day, but I have gotten the Hubs to agree to try taking longer to administer the shot.  He took exactly two minutes this time, which is what the doctor suggested, but I've heard slower is better.  I don't know if I've noticed a difference from the progesterone yet, though maybe a little less anxious, which is a good thing.  My new normal post peak nausea had started to set in yesterday before the shot, but I haven't noticed any today.  That and the breast tenderness usually set in between P+3 and P+6, so fingers crossed that they stay away, that would be awesome.  I'll guess we'll see what happens!