|photo credit: here|
Palm Sunday was a roller coaster of a day. It started out with the events of this post, not really a high point for me. But when we got to mass (we go to evening mass) things turned around. We were asked to bring up the gifts, and as simple as that was, it was a whole lot of healing for me. I finally felt at home in our parish, and felt like I had something to offer, beyond all my brokenness. Sometimes its the small things that make all the difference.
Ok, so maybe not a holy week event, but Tuesday I went to a talk by an amazing priest, Fr. Robert Spitzer, about happiness and suffering, which is mentioned on his website here. I had never heard Fr. Spitzer speak before, though I had heard great things about him, and I can say he lived up to what I had heard and then some. The talk really made me look at some things in my life, and was really helpful in considering suffering too. I'm really glad my sister dragged me along to it :).
On Wednesday, the Hubs and I went to confession and holy hour. There is an awesome Norbertine abbey close to us, St. Michael's Abbey, which offers adoration and confession ever day during their night prayers. Attending is always a beautiful experience. This one was no different.
The wait for confession was pretty long, an hour and a half, and I'll admit I got impatient at some points, but in the end I consigned myself to the fact that God wanted me there. Having adoration the whole time was beautiful. The first half hour, maybe 45 minutes, was easy, as I counted up my sins, got ready to go, and said prayers for anyone I could think of. The rest was more difficult, but good. I took a good hard look at the sins I was bringing to confession, and made sure I was actually sorry for them, and was going to do something about avoiding them in the future. Then I just spent time in silent prayer until it was my turn for confession. It was a wonderful experience.
After confession I felt awesome. The next day (yesterday) I felt like I was bouncing on a cloud of grace for the first half of the day at least. I always know confession is good for me, but I don't always get the happy clean soul feeling, as I think of it haha, so that was nice. Of course, as the day went on it got harder and harder not to slip back into the usual routine of being irritated at people, gossiping, and the rest of it. I did my best though.
Last night we went to the Holy Thursday service at our parish. Again, it was a beautiful mass. Growing up it actually wasn't something we would traditionally do, so going has kind of been a new tradition the Hubs and I have started. I will admit that sometimes I do get impatient with the long masses (anyone catching the fact that I have an issue with patience? lol) but I love being more immersed in the liturgical year, and especially the happenings of holy week. It also makes me appreciate our parish, our pastor and priests, and the community there more too, you can really sense the reverence and care that goes into everything. After mass we picked up pizza at the same place we ate at on Ash Wednesday. Not so much a symbolic intentional gesture, really just because its one of the closest places to our church to eat and I was hungry!
God has made pretty clear that I should be clearing my distractions for Good Friday. My boss gave us the whole day off for Good Friday, which is a first. I will give him credit, the last couple years he would give us the afternoon off if we asked for it. I also had a phone interview that was supposed to take place at 12:30 that I was feeling uneasy about. Yesterday it was cancelled (due to the position being filled). So, I guess that leaves me free and clear.
That leads us to today, Good Friday. Having the day off has been a nice way to slow things down. I'm going to try to make more time for prayer and meditation, especially during 12 and 3 pm. A few church near me have services, so maybe I'll catch on now or later when the Hubs gets home.
Thanks again for stopping by. I hope you are having a blessed triduum. For some great conversion stories (I love conversion stories) and more great posts, check out Kelly's at This Ain't The Lyceum.