November 12, 2014

The Calm Before the ... Surgery

So I know I've mentioned a few times that I have surgery coming up.  Its actually less than a month out now. Sorry if you're getting tired of hearing about it, its probably going to come up a few more times... but at least there's an end in sight?  My last cycle was our last medicated cycle before it. We gave Femera one last shot, and that didn't work out.  So now I'm taking a break from treatment.

I didn't actually stop everything.  I am still taking my medicine and supplements that are health related, just not the ones that are specifically ttc related.  So right now, I'm continuing with Metformin, as well as supplements dealing with PCOS and my MTHFR defect generally.  It is drastically less than I've been taking for the last four months, so that is pretty nice.

Emotionally its been a really good thing.  My strongest reaction to the fertility meds was emotional, I was a *little bit* crazy for those four months or so.  Its really nice to be off of that crazy train.   I do feel a lot more like myself, and at least one of my coworkers has mentioned that I'm more like myself too.  I had started to worry if the meds had permanently changed me somehow, and if I would always be overly emotional  Luckily, that's not the case.  I've actually been surprised at a number of situations that I haven't had an emotional reaction, where on the meds I would have been upset or sad.  Its weird when I start bracing myself for nothing, haha, but its  really nice to be level headed again, I really needed that.  And though he's been nothing but sweet and hasn't said anything, I think the Hubs needed me back too.

Physically, on the other hand, is a different story.  I don't know if my body just got used to the meds, or if its upset because of them, but things have not been great.  My cycle started off  like normal, but that brown bleeding that came back last cycle seems to have set in for the long haul. I'm on CD 13 and there's no sign of it letting up yet.  Talk about frustrating.  I have a call in to my doctor to see if we should treat it now or wait until after the surgery, I'm guessing the latter though.  My skin is also reacting badly.  I've been breaking out with random big painful zits since the beginning of the cycle.  For all of my PCOS symptoms, acne has always been the one I've been lucky enough to not have, so this is an unwelcome occurrence. Any ideas on how to treat it are welcome.  Just to round out the symptoms are some random cramping and sensations, severe stomach upset (though I think that's mostly a diet problem), and pre-peak  breast tenderness that I don't remember ever dealing with before, because why not. Needless to say, me and my body aren't particularly getting along right now.

I've also started to get a little anxious/apprehensive about the surgery.  Before I was introduced to NaPro, I was dead set against the idea of the ovarian wedge resection.  I mean, all I kept hearing about it was that it was an outdated procedure that led to scarring and did more bad than good.  After finding NaPro, I was a little worried that it seemed to be the go-to treatment for PCOS.  I've come to understand that NaPro techniques are different, help prevent scarring, and have great success rates.  I also have a lot of faith in my doctor.  She was open about the risks and benefits, and about her own track record with the surgery, which is great, so I really feel good about her abilities.

Its just that, although I've been fortunate to have a couple people generously email with me about their experiences, I'm still constantly googling the procedure to try to find more out.  Unfortunately, there isn't much online about it other than the aforementioned negative stuff.  If it isn't negative stuff, its surgery pictures and, excuse my immature reaction but, yick!  I've always been pretty squeamish, like fainting at blood tests (though that hasn't happened in a while luckily), and the time I passed out because my sister told me that she cut her finger, I'll never live that down. So just the idea of being cut up, with the wonderful visuals I've gotten from google is... unsettling.  And the thought that I need to be cut up in order to be fixed is weird too.

Right now its pretty easy to dwell on all of this because I don't have a lot going on.  Luckily, in about a week we're about to get pretty busy, what with travelling and the holidays coming up, so hopefully I'll be so occupied I won't have much time to think about it all. 


  1. Yike! I didn't know you reacted so strongly to cuts and blood and all that stuff. I'm sorry... it must not be easy to think about upcoming surgery. The good news is you're completely asleep for all the gory stuff and once you wake up, you're mostly out of it, so you aren't even fully aware of what's happened for a while. You will have to see the incisions at some point, but they're really cleaned up for the most part. Hoping that things have gotten busy for you now and all this is off your mind. You can do this!! I'll be praying. Just let us know as it gets closer!!

    1. Haha yea I'm a big baby when it comes to that stuff. Though one plus side is getting my blood tested at least once a month, I have gotten much better and haven't fainted in quite a white (last time I almost did was a year ago, yay). Thanks so much for stopping by, and I'll definitely update before it gets here.