The bad days recently have been a little tough, they always are. Some of them correlated with my taking clomid, I'm sure (stupid clomid), but just knowing that it's not me, it's the side effects doesn't help me snap out of it. And sometimes random things, like pregnancy announcements, throw me into a whole negative thought spiral. I never know when something is going to hit me hard like that, and it's always hard to pull myself out.
I was working on my little garden last week (one of these days I'll show it to you), and I had to prune all the dead flowers off my rose bushes. There's only one left now, after a plentiful bloom. It made me sad in a way (again, I blame the clomid for making me sad while gardening, lol). But it also reminded me of this bible passage, John 15: 1-5:
If we listen to God's word and try to grow in His ways, we might bloom, but we might need some pruning too. The pruning can be painful, but it's a necessary thing. If I don't prune my roses they get out of control, overburdened, and won't bloom as much later. One bush was already obviously struggling with the weight of all the flowers and new vines, it had to be cut back. After the pruning things look a little bleak. The rose bushes are all green, no pretty blooms for me to stare at as I walk out the door in the morning or drink my coffee on the weekend. But I know that soon they'll be back, and better than ever.
In the same way, sometimes we go along blooming, things are great, but maybe we become over burdened or out of control. Maybe we are headed in the wrong direction and don't even know it yet. Sometimes the things we thought were good, that we have become accustomed to, the happy feelings, have to go. And sometimes we have to be led in a direction that seems painful, somewhere we don't want to go. But the bleakness isn't permanent, and is not pointless. It is needed for us to become something better. As long as we stay close to Him, we will make it through. And hopefully the blooms will come back, and better than ever.