tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133558552627369533.post4692534580537146102..comments2023-11-13T00:33:59.939-08:00Comments on Tomato's Vine: Infertility Is Just A...Tomatohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14874825476590035544noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133558552627369533.post-74513952347273544462015-07-05T14:52:20.279-07:002015-07-05T14:52:20.279-07:00Thank you for the advice and for the prayers!Thank you for the advice and for the prayers!Tomatohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14874825476590035544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133558552627369533.post-88804403848001585822015-07-05T14:51:12.054-07:002015-07-05T14:51:12.054-07:00Haha yes, exactly! There is nothing "just&quo...Haha yes, exactly! There is nothing "just" about any of it!Tomatohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14874825476590035544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133558552627369533.post-40467987999167704712015-07-05T14:49:42.907-07:002015-07-05T14:49:42.907-07:00I definitely agree a lot of it has to do with igno...I definitely agree a lot of it has to do with ignorance about reproduction. In sharing my story with people I'm close too, I've definitely had to explain how things are supposed to work more than once. Its true that once people know more they are a little more understanding.Tomatohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14874825476590035544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133558552627369533.post-56692540040893672032015-07-05T08:31:04.434-07:002015-07-05T08:31:04.434-07:00People so want to be helpful and supportive but it...People so want to be helpful and supportive but it's a sensitive and somewhat delicate topic to discuss. Sometimes it is very hard to jus say that <i> I'm sorry you are suffering</i>. Human instinct is to <i>fix></i> difficult situations. I've found that sometimes the best solution is to be rather vague with what is going on, just that I'm dealing with <i>medical issues</i> and leave it at that. <br /><br />Praying that things get better and easier for you!Donnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09098975442897816678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133558552627369533.post-6058109580886922252015-07-04T11:01:00.072-07:002015-07-04T11:01:00.072-07:00"Just" adopt. As if it were like walking..."Just" adopt. As if it were like walking in and checking out a library book! I'm sure that any couple who's been through (or knows someone who's been through) the adoption process would ever say that you can "just" adopt a child!Jenny Evanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06320766378823015885noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133558552627369533.post-54642115983510004312015-07-03T12:41:37.936-07:002015-07-03T12:41:37.936-07:00I think we were years into our infertility struggl...I think we were years into our infertility struggle before we actually heard someone (other than my doctor) refer to infertility as a disease. When I did, it was an "aha!" moment for me and gave me some much needed perspective. I think most people are so ignorant about human reproduction (other than the basics) that they make really stupid comments when the "hocus pocus" doesn't seem to be working. If they only knew how many millions of little things must go exactly right for a baby to be conceived and born, perhaps they wouldn't be so quick to make such silly comments to us and maybe would even look upon their own fertility a little differently.Lyndahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12098641342923439602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133558552627369533.post-86033204854411640492015-07-01T21:13:06.677-07:002015-07-01T21:13:06.677-07:00Definitely true! I'm probably not even expres...Definitely true! I'm probably not even expressing correctly what the experience is like other than to me. Tomatohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14874825476590035544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133558552627369533.post-15666892110018333002015-07-01T13:32:55.646-07:002015-07-01T13:32:55.646-07:00I appreciate this post! You are right - it is ver...I appreciate this post! You are right - it is very downplayed! It is so much more than people understand it to be!Caroline @ In Due Timehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16261569299914107796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133558552627369533.post-73395794843520206202015-06-30T20:07:23.851-07:002015-06-30T20:07:23.851-07:00Yea, I think people remember the one anecdote that...Yea, I think people remember the one anecdote that supports their story rather than the tens or hundreds that don't. Thank you for being so supportive and smackin' knowledge into people :).Tomatohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14874825476590035544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133558552627369533.post-7970223801766748152015-06-30T20:05:58.041-07:002015-06-30T20:05:58.041-07:00Thank you! I agree, education and kindness are key...Thank you! I agree, education and kindness are key.Tomatohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14874825476590035544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133558552627369533.post-81672221027553427572015-06-30T20:05:29.396-07:002015-06-30T20:05:29.396-07:00Ugh, I'm sorry you've had to deal with ign...Ugh, I'm sorry you've had to deal with ignorant comments too. Its definitely true that anxiety and depression can be treated in the same way, unfortunately. Thank you for your kind words.Tomatohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14874825476590035544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133558552627369533.post-87660149977569964452015-06-30T20:03:29.239-07:002015-06-30T20:03:29.239-07:00People's comments can be wearing. I like your...People's comments can be wearing. I like your idea of praying for patience and the right response. I try to do that, but I need to remember to more often.Tomatohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14874825476590035544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133558552627369533.post-59600015687284842092015-06-30T15:36:26.712-07:002015-06-30T15:36:26.712-07:00It sure is medical issue! But for some reason, mos...It sure is medical issue! But for some reason, most folks who never go thru IF seem to think it's not medical at all. It's psychological. I wonder why that is. Possibly because everyone knows someone who "just had to relax" or "just had to adopt" in order to get pregnant. And unfortunately anecdotal evidence speaks louder than truth most of the time. Sorry you've heard these annoying comments a bit lately. I'm always sure to correct people now when they say to me, "See, you just had to get into the adoption process, and then you ended up pregnant!" I usually launch into the story of how I changed meds the cycle we conceived, so it likely had nothing to do with our adoption plans. Boom. Smackin' knowledge on 'em for the sake of all my sisters in IF out there. <3Stephanie @ Blessed to Behttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15432625948200484509noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133558552627369533.post-25987696222423567102015-06-30T11:36:09.873-07:002015-06-30T11:36:09.873-07:00I love this post and I'm sending prayers your ...I love this post and I'm sending prayers your way. I truly wish people would speak with kindness towards each other. Education is key and some people should really think long and hard about how they place blame. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13903351164002022533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133558552627369533.post-22700512911869110352015-06-30T10:59:38.836-07:002015-06-30T10:59:38.836-07:00I have the exact same feeling about depression/soc...I have the exact same feeling about depression/social anxiety. People are constantly telling me to "just" feel better or get over it try harder and it's so frustrating. I absolutely agree that people should think before they speak and inform themselves rather than spouting off ignorance like the "Let go and let God" or "God has a different plan for you" and so on. Educate, educate, educate, and I think your ministry is the perfect way to get started, dear friend. WritingWillowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10087089064442209724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133558552627369533.post-82774621090866042352015-06-30T03:42:37.034-07:002015-06-30T03:42:37.034-07:00I struggle so much with the comments of others! It...I struggle so much with the comments of others! It is such a good idea to use those emotions and harness them for a post like this! For us, we get comments all the time in the reverse- about having "too many kids," as many people like to suggest. It wears on me. I never know what to say. I think you are handling it well. For me, I have to pray for patience and the right response constantly. A lot of times people don't know what to say, and so they just say something thoughtless.Tacyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10147786045725665490noreply@blogger.com